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Apology from an Aspiring Competitive CrossFit Athlete

Posted by Emily Beers on


If you’re a competitive CrossFit athlete, ask yourself whether you’re truly helping your affiliate and your community? If you are, awesome! Many do. But if you can relate to the situations in this apology letter, it might be time to look at yourself from an affiliate owner’s perspective.

Dear Box Owner,

I’m a competitive CrossFit athlete and I’d like to apologize.

I apologize for my stress levels during the five-week open. I apologize for my neurotic texts each week reminding you to validate my score. I apologize for losing my scoresheet stub on Week 3 and making you leave your family brunch and drive to the gym on Sunday to double check my tie break score.

I apologize for showing up on Monday morning unannounced hoping you could judge me as I redid the workout for the third time that week. You willingly stuck around after the morning class and your daughter was late for school because of it: I apologize.

I apologize that I take up twice as much space as most people when I workout. And for dragging my overstuffed, overflowing bag onto the floor each day. It’s just that I’m training for Regionals and it has all the necessary things I need during a session: my shaker, my knee sleeves, my wrist wraps, my three weight belts, five pairs of shoes, endless ROCK tape, my protein powder and the new compression hat I’m trying. Apparently it allows you to think five times faster. Anything to give me an edge, you know?

“Are you open on Christmas Day?”

I apologize that I ask you questions like, “Are you open on Christmas Day?” I know it was me who guilt tripped you into staying open on Good Friday. I appreciate it.

And I apologize for putting pressure on you to buy expensive new gadgets. I don’t expect you to buy everything. Just the really important ones: An Eleiko barbell, a yolk, a new Rogue sled or two, a new Airdyne, and if you could lay some artificial turf down to practice handstand walks that would be amazing. Oh, and some new gear to wear at Regionals would be great, too.

I apologize for my profanity when I was snatching the other day. I especially apologize to Joe who was struck with my weight belt that I threw in frustration when I missed that lift. It’s just that regionals are getting close and I can’t be missing lifts like that.

And, for what it’s worth, I apologize that I can’t afford to pay the full membership price each month, even though I spend twice as much time at the gym as the rest of your members, take up twice as much space, and send you twice as many e-mails and texts each week than the average member sends in a year. In short, I apologize for taking up more of your time and paying you less money than I should.

I really hope the hassle I bring will be worth it when I placed 32nd at Regionals in May.

Sincerely,

Aspiring Regionals Athlete.

 

Merle Mckenzie

April 10, 2015

well done sir

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